Life Goes On

Monday, December 19, 2005

Dear my father


I don’t have my father. He was passed away when I was 16 years old. But when I had a hard time or difficulty, I constantly remember about him. And I ask to him. If he heard this problem, what advice would he gives to me? I’m waiting for his response for a while, but always I could get no answers.
That is ridicules, why did I wait a response from him?
Sometimes, I feel empty. He had had a great affection for me. He was my father, but at the same time, my good friend who has same hobby and interests. It was certainly my father’s affection why I love games or Japanese animations so much. My mother doesn’t like such stuffs, but he always bought some games secretly and shows me, then said “Let’s play this when she go away!”
It was he, who made my breakfast when I was in junior high school. My club (track and field club) had morning practice every morning at 7:00 and my mother was not good at to get up early at that time. So instead of her, he awoke and made breakfast for me. I remember the taste, compare with my mother’s cooking, his Miso-soup was too weak. Perhaps, he forgot to put Dashi in it.
When I ask the question to him, actually I am asking to myself. There is no one except me in this room. So it is only me who can answer the question. If he was here or not here, he would said, “Do the things what you would like to do.” Perhaps, he was a little indulges as a father, but know the things and I am respect him very much.
When he had some important or serious things to tell me, always, he wrote a letter. Like him, I’m also not good at to tell feelings by word, I lettered back to him. It included not only about response, but also my days thought and feelings.
Strange there were some mail exchanges inside the house, but that’s the way it was.
“If you feel sad, just write.”
He didn’t say anything, but I think I learned the way to reduce my sadness from this experience.

2 Comments:

  • At 7:46 AM, Blogger Mika said…

    I didn't know that you have lost your father... and I don't know what to say... It's very sad to lose someone.
    But I hope that you get over difficulties with what you have learned from your father. I sometimes worry about you because you keep a lot of things inside...

     
  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger Nakaeri said…

    Hello! Thank you for your comment. But I think I'm not a kind of person who keep a lot of things inside...^^;cau's I always vent my feelings to someone or something ,so....
    Well, but may be all people keeps some amount of things inside. That's the way we live and that's the way we grow.

     

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